In these hard times........

We all know that the economy is bad and that many people are losing their jobs and blah, blah, blah! Well, I set out to understand what exactly does it mean when people say that “the economy is bad.” I’ve come to find out that when people talk about the economy only 1 out of 10 people know what they are talking about. The other 9 just shake their heads and agree on how bad it is. I know because I used to be one of them. No, this is not a scientific study I conducted. This is just my rough estimate.

So, take for instance, a bank loans you a dollar. You have a certain pay back plan to pay back that dollar even though you can’t really afford it. The bank, however, got that dollar from somewhere else who has many more dollars and investors who support that bank. So now, you go along your merry way and think about the great things you can do with the dollar and you try not to overspend because you must save it for emergencies and what not. But, the bank did let you borrow the dollar in the first place because they trust your financial decisions. The bank will always be there, so you say, what the heck! I’ll spend all of it and just enjoy it. But suddenly, you made poor financial decisions and can no longer pay back the bank. What will you do? Well……..You won’t pay back the bank! So now, the bank is left with your debt to pay back to their investors. And, if the bank can’t pay back their investors, they find another bank to help them out. It’s an endless chain all connected to that one dollar bill with increasing fees of all kinds getting into even more debt. If all businesses can’t be financially supported with the help of these banks, then they go bankrupt leaving people without a job. There are other factors that contribute to the economy being bad. I don’t understand them all. But what I just explained is a big one. Just ask Washington Mutual.

The other day I read an article about a man robbing a convenient store. The man busted into the early hours of the store, pointed a gun at the cashier, his hand shaking as he demanded cash, and thanked the cashier before he left. When the cop interviewed the cashier, the cashier said that he wasn’t afraid of the robber. He said that when the robber was holding up the gun, the robber’s hand was shaky and he started to cry. The robber then apologized to the cashier and asked him to forgive him for what he was doing. The cashier knew the robber was not going to hurt him. In fact, he knew that if he didn’t give the robber the money, the robber probably still wouldn't hurt him. But the cashier felt sorry for him and gave all of the money he had. The cop categorized the robber as a non-career criminal. He figured that he must be someone who was greatly effected by the economy and saw this as an only option to get money.

In another related article, a man lost his job as well and was looking for another as fast as possible. When he wasn’t having any luck, he decided to look for a job in an unconventional way. In his downtown district, he wore a sandwich sign asking for a job with his resume posted on the back. In some time, he was spotted by a coveted executive and offered him a six figure salary job.

There are different ways that one can manage the stress and heart ache of this recession. Even though I would have felt sorry for the robber and gave him the money just like the cashier did, it doesn’t mean it was right. I did feel sorry for him, but he still committed a crime. Is this how far our economic status have pushed us? I’ve been there! I’ve had those “oh my god, I don’t have any money! What am I going to do?” moments. But nowhere near threatening someone’s life over it. Luckily, I’ve always had family and friends to bail me out of any situation. Which is why I’m so grateful for them. This holiday season, there is no one else I would rather be with than with them. So, if you happen to be hit hard with this recession, hang in there. If you’re still breathing, you’re going to be ok. Surround yourself with loved ones and get back on your feet. Have a very Marry Christmas and a Wonderful New Year!!!

Past Innocence Revisited.....

Everyone in some point in their lives gets a flashback moment into their childhood where things were worry free and had not a care in the world. A time when you wish you could go back and start all over again knowing the things you know now. Whether it's a scent, an object, a taste, or a song, that piece of memory wakes you up inside triggering your past happiness. Not to exclude past bad memories for anyone who's experienced them; but I talk about the good ones because those are the ones everyone should hold on to for as long as they can. For my friend Andrea and I, that past memory was……..Hanson!

When Hanson first came out with their chart topping single "Mmmbop," Andrea and I were sucked into their music just like the rest of the little girls. All throughout eighth and ninth grade (1997 and 1998) it was all about Hanson. I was embarrassingly obsessed! I say that I was embarrassingly obsessed because…..…well…..…I was literally embarrassingly obsessed! Together, Andrea and I traded posters, listened to their music, and secretly admired this trio of blonde boys. It was the best time of our lives. Although we could never afford to buy tickets to a concert nor did we dare ask our broke mothers to do such a thing, we admired them from a distance. We were secretly in love and only told our closest friends. To relatives, it came easy to find out how much we loved the group due to the massive posters decorating our bedroom walls. But as we got older and their music slowly faded, we began losing our interests in them. For one, it wasn't easy entering high school admitting that you were obsessed with a band that mostly had a fan base of pre-teens while we were already teenagers. And two, we began moving on to other types of music. By the time we were sophomores in high school, it was Hanson no more and hello Backstreet Boys! However, the obsession with Backstreet was not as heavy as Hanson's and quickly faded. It was sad to admit, but our Hanson memories were behind us and we moved on.

Throughout the entire time I've known Andrea, no matter what we have been through, whatever fights we may have had, whatever great friendship moments we've experienced, between living together and living apart, our Hanson days always reminds us of two dorky friends who shared this great thing in common. I have always felt that this common interest in the band gave us a great start to our friendship. Since jr. high, Andrea has been a best friend who I can always count on to be there for me and I feel extremely lucky to have that because not many people can talk about one person like I talk about my Andrea. That is why I was so happy to surprise her with two tickets to Hanson's concert in San Diego.

I had purchased the tickets about two months early and the anticipation was unnerving. The moment I clicked on "purchase tickets" the sudden child-like excitement went through me just as if I was still in eighth grade! When the day finally came (11/16/2008), we were so excited that we listened to their CD, that I still had from 1997, all the way to San Diego. When they finally started playing on stage, I kept telling Andrea "They are right there! They are right in front of us!" I asked her "If this were ten years ago, would we have cried?" She said "Oh yea!" Throughout the concert we were dancing, screaming, and putting up our lighters – well…….I put up a fake lighter from my iphone. We were having so much fun that it was beyond expected. Andrea said "I feel like I lost ten years!" And I completely agreed with her! Even though we only knew three of the songs they played (because everything else they played was from after we had lost interest in them), we were filled with girlish excitement and the memory of our "Mmmbop" days.

After the concert was over, we waited outside the House of Blues building by the tour bus to see if they would come out and sign autographs. I took out my camera to get it ready to take pictures, but with the luck that I have…….IT DIED! And I did not have extra batteries. I couldn't believe that my pinchi camera died! Disclaimer: for those of you who don't know "pinchi" is a bad word in Spanish. I apologize if I offend you. Anyway, of all the times I've had it, it had to die at this very moment when I needed it the most. Luckily I had my iphone camera as a last resort. So, the first one to come out was the youngest one named Zac. While all the girls, and some boys, rushed to get in line to get his autograph and picture, I quickly cut in front of a lot of people and wasn't too far back from him. What? Hold your judgement! A girl's gotta get her picture! So once I got up to Zac, he was nice enough to sign his autograph on my ticket, take a couple pictures, and record a message on my iphone for my sister Vanessa who was a fan as well. As we waited for the other two Hanson brothers to come out, it was getting really late and we were feeling really tired. We were thinking about leaving, especially since it was 12am on a Sunday night and we had to work the next day.

Right when we were about to leave and give up on the other two, I heard one of the guys who was loading the cargo say "that's the last of it." I knew they were about to come out since they finished packing……..AND THEY DID! I quickly followed Isaac (the oldest one) to wherever he was going but he went straight to the bus as well as Taylor (the middle one). All the other girls started crowding around the bus and I was surrounded by the other fans. About a couple minutes later, they both come out and began signing autographs. I kept pushing and pushing my way in trying to grab Andrea so she can take my picture with him. This reminded me of the time when I was at a LeAnn Rimes concert and at the end of it, I pushed through all the little girls so I can cut in front of them and shake LeAnn's hand. It was worth a few dirty looks. Anyway, so after I got a picture with Isaac and his autograph, I proceeded to go around to the other end of the bus where Taylor was. However, I was stuck right next to Isaac and couldn't get around because of all the fans surrounding us. Honestly, I didn't mind being stuck there. I brag about the fact that I stood next to him shoulder to shoulder for like two minutes! By the time I got the where Taylor was, I had lost Andrea and I was yelling out for her. When she found me, I kept telling her to push her way in so I can get a picture with her and him.

After I took a picture of Andrea and Taylor, a sense of accomplishment came through me. I had been longing this kind of experience ten years ago and even though I'm not a devoted fan of theirs today, it sure felt like I was. But the overall best thing about that Sunday night……….is that I got to experience it with Andrea. It is truly a gift when you have a best friend to share the imporatant details of your life with. I have been blessed with many. You know who you are! Cherish those dearest and closest to you, for they fulfill parts of your life you didn't even know you had.


Up next? Who knows…..maybe Andrea and I will go to a Backstreet Boys concert when they go on tour! Thanks for reading!

WARNING! THIS ARTICLE IS NOT FOR MCCAIN SUPPORTERS!!!

Relax, I'm not gonna badger the guy! This is just pro Obama

Ok, so I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted and I do apologize to my few loyal readers. It’s been a little hectic lately but things are calmer now and I can continue. I do have a few topics I want to cover; however, I have a young reader that this may not be appropriate for so I will leave this out. If you have spoken with me lately and know me pretty well, you know what I am talking about. Hint: had to do with this year’s propositions and the outcome.

Ok now let me just jump into Tuesday’s experience (11/4/2008), as I am sure many bloggers have blogged about this. I am joining them in this pool of thought because it’s too great to pass up. Everybody in the world is going to know where they were the night Barack Obama was elected president. I’m going to tell you my experience that I’ve already shared with all of my sisters because I called all of them (including my cousin Elias in L.A.) because it was such an important moment in our lives that I had to talk to everyone. And since I live alone, my cell phone was my only means of communication even though I had wished I was with my friend Melissa watching it at her house!

I was still at work when the first few electoral votes were being counted. Almost every website had the updates. Had I known that that the results were going to be announced that night, I would have been with Melissa! So, after work I got home around 7pm and turned on the TV to see the latest updates. At first, McCain was winning. He was ahead by getting all the hillbilly states (please don’t be offended). South Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, etc. were all for McCain. However, Obama suddenly caught up! I kept hoping and praying for it to stay that way and I was thinking about what a wonderful thing it would be if he were to win. Suddenly, I had a flashback to when I was a little girl. I remember putting my hands together and praying “please oh please oh please let me get this toy!” The same feeling came over me. I sat at the edge of my bed closing my eyes and praying silently “Oh God please let this happen!” So around 7:40pm I called my mother to talk to her about the election. She was watching it in Spanish on the Telemundo channel in her living room and I was watching it in English on CNN in my bedroom. She kept saying “ojala mija, ojala” (hopefully my daughter, hopefully). So we got to talking about other stuff like how my dog is doing and what she did that day. Usually the last words I say to my mom at the end of any phone conversations are “I love you.” But just as I was about to say “I…” I paused and said “Esperate Ama! No me cuelges!” (Wait mom! Don’t hang up on me!). She said “Que? Porque no! Aqui Estoy! Que paso?” (What? Why not? I’m here! What happened!). Then I tell her “LOOK AT YOUR TV! LOOK AT YOUR TV” And all of a sudden my mom lets out this victorious scream “AAAAA! HOOOOOOO AAAAAAH!” It was the cutest thing ever - hearing that big scream from this tiny little Mexican lady!

After I congratulated my mom, I proceeded to call everyone. I was so excited that I just had to involve as many people that I can reach on my phone. I felt like I had to tell everyone and talk to them about it because one day I want to go back and say “Remember the night when Obama won and we were talking…” His victory means more than just having a black president. His victory makes the impossible possible. His victory truly defies that America is the land of opportunity. His victory is the American dream where anything is possible. His victory has changed this world completely.

Remember when the movie Deep Impact was released? I was in high school when it came out. This is relevant, I promise, just keep reading. As a kid, the world ending with the strike of a massive comet was my biggest fear. I used to have nightmares about it. So when the movie came out, I wanted to see what Hollywood produced to be something that could possibly happen. I went to go see it with my best friend Andrea. During the middle of the movie, I turned to her and whispered “Yeah right! Like there would ever be a black president!” And she sarcastically said “Like we would ever get hit by a comet!” That is the first thought that entered my head when I found out that he won the Democratic Party nomination. It was a proud moment where I can easily say with a smile “I was wrong.” And, I’ll say it over and over!

Following his announcement of elected president, there were clips from all over the world showing triumphant cheers. This is why I say that the world has changed completely. Never in my life have I seen other countries so proud and excited for another country. I think that it gives them hope. Hope that one day their country can change like ours has. Hope that they can one day hope for themselves. Hope to dream big and make their difference. Hope that we can all be color blind and solely judge people on the contents of our character. Hope that Martin Luther King Jr. had.

Why do they make us jump a border?

The other day I was thinking about my culture (as I always often am) and was wondering about how much of it is practiced in our family. There’s a term that non-Americans from different parts of the world like to use when living in the U.S. for so long. That term is “Americanized.” “Americanized” is the term used when non-American families have assimilated so well after living in the U.S. that they have adapted the “American” lifestyle while possibly maintaining little or none of their heritage culture. But it’s a little funny to me because isn’t culture something that someone has to keep in order for it to exist in their lives? Calling it “Americanized” only blames the loss of their culture on America. Shouldn’t it be up to the individual and their families to sustain that culture?

It got me thinking about my heritage and what we do to maintain our “Mexican” roots and what do I do that defines my Mexican heritage. And, honestly……It’s not much. Have I become “Americanized?” Should I blame this country and its lifestyle for losing my Mexican culture? No! It’s my responsibility to keep what I grew up with. There are different ways and characteristics that defy a culture. For example, my family’s Mexican culture may not be the same as the culture from an Oaxaca family. In fact, it’s not! If I were to define my Mexican culture it would be the following: family, communication, faith, food, and music.
- Family because of our close relationships between all of us. The way we rely on each other and how we trust each other.
- Communication because our language is inevitably fading and it’s one of the biggest factors in our culture. From the oldest child to the youngest in my family, there’s a difference in how each speaks Spanish. The oldest, speaks Spanish as if that’s the only language that exists. And the youngest speaks Spanish with a bit of difficulty mixing in some English to help better understand. Even I am forgetting my own language. If it wasn’t for my mother, I probably wouldn’t ever speak Spanish.
- Faith because growing up in the Catholic Church was a constant reminder that God is love and the creator of all things. And, when there is no one else to turn to, turn to God. Along with faith, we have the Quincenera and “la primera communion y confirmacion.” Which I participated in.
- Food because of the classic Mexican food I grew up with that defies my culture. I’m talking about menudo, sopes, mole, chilaquiles, chile relleno, huevos rancheros, frijoles de la olla, and the list goes on and on.
- And last but not lease, Music. Music because it plays and demonstrates who and what we are. I find mariachi music to be so touching and heart warming that whenever I miss my family, I play it and it reminds me of them.

So am I doing my part to keep my Mexican culture? I’m ashamed to say it but…..no, I am not. I don’t go to church regularly, I hardly speak Spanish. I only speak it to my mom. And I sure as hell don’t cook anything that requires more than ten minutes to prepare. The only thing I do is listen to the music when I throw on some Vicente Fernandez. Do I want to change it? Yeah! I want to be just like my mother. And, my mother screams of proud Mexican culture. One day, I’ll transition back. But not before it’s too late. However, there is one thing I want to add to my Mexican culture. And that is knowledge. Growing up in my family, I never really learned about Mexico’s history. I just recently learned about “Los ninos heroes” from my sister’s boyfriend. How could I be withheld from this amazing story? (check it out on goolge) That’s one thing I will change. After I finish my complete education (credential or masters) I will make it my official duty to know all of Mexico. I already know all about America because of public school growing up. But hardly know anything about Mexico. I will know it all one day.

Ok so now that you’ve gotten my take on culture, let me acknowledge to you, my reader, the idea of Hispanic Heritage month here in America. Hispanic Heritage month was established by President Lyndon Johnson in 1968 but later expanded by Ronald Reagan. It begins September 15 and ends October 15 and is supposed to be recognized as the time to celebrate the contributions of Hispanic Americans made to the U.S. I find it a bit ironic that Hispanic heritage month can’t be recognized within one solid month. The U.S. tries so hard to prevent Hispanics from jumping the borders but yet they expect us to celebrate our existence buy jumping the border of September to October! I find it quite funny! Unfortunately, I cannot take credit for this funny recognition because I heard it on an episode of “Que Locos.” That was a funny show! No where else did I see a bunch of funny short Mexicans! Anyway, that’ll just about do it on my thoughts of culture and Mexican tradition. And remember…..you can’t blame America for the loss of your culture. It’s up to you to keep it alive! (Geesh! I feel like a PSA saying that!)

Small boobs = a handicap? Are you EFFIN serious?!!!

Last night as I was avoiding doing some homework, I was flipping through the channels trying to catch something good to watch on tv. I stumbled upon the oh so popular “Dr. 90210” show. I don’t really have much of an opinion on plastic surgery. If you want it, have it! If it makes you feel better, go for it! But of course my opinions change when it comes to a family member or a close friend wanting plastic surgery. I’ll say “hell no! It’s too risky!” Or, “you don’t need plastic surgery :( You look great the way you are.” I guess I think it’s ok for someone else to get plastic surgery and not anyone I know because I wouldn’t want them to put themselves at risk. Anyway, Dr. Ray, who is one of the main plastic surgeons on the show said something on last night’s episode that just made me cuss out loud like a sailor. There was this beautiful Asian young lady who was seeking Dr. Ray’s professional opinion on getting breast implants. She has been in the entertainment industry for a while and thought it was time to upgrade her look with implants. As he met with her, he examined her breasts and told her that she could go a few cups bigger but getting them too big would be a problem because she had very little breast tissue. He claims that she was the first patient he’s ever had that has too little breast tissue and that his male patients have more breast tissue than her. He compliments on her beautiful body but that it would be even more perfect once she gets her breast implants. Dr. Ray then continues to say (and this is what got to me) “She’s a beautiful girl and has done very well in the industry despite her handicap.” ARE YOU EFFIN KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!! The last time I checked, a handicap was an actual physical and/or mental disability! Having small breasts does not physically challenge the way a human being can perform! Having small breasts does not give you the blue parking pass so you don’t have to walk long distances! Having small breasts is not a FREAKIN’ handicap! When someone makes a statement like that, what does that mean to our standard society? Does it mean that any woman with an A or B cup is handicap? Does it mean that women with bigger cup sizes are more valuable than those of a smaller cup size? As for me on my breast size, I don’t care much for it. I like what God gave me and am happy with it. But if I had size A cup breasts, there is no way in freakin’ hell I would call myself handicapped!!! Would you?

3 MONTHS!!!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Today I realized that it has been three months since I lived by myself in my own apartment. I started thinking back when I was still living in Brawley. I was in the middle of my second year at Imperial Valley College and started thinking about moving to San Marcos to attend CSUSM even though I hadn't been accepted yet. I remember looking online for apartments and mapping out the closest areas where I could live. I never once thought about the dorms only because I wanted to get an apartment that accepts dogs so I can take my Bitsey. Well, after a few convincing conversations between my friends Andrea and Kyle and myself, I thought, what the hey, my mom can take care of Bitsey and I can meet new friends in the dorms. The dorm was fun and all (other than the racial arguments) but I still was yearning for that independence to have my very own place. I was actually the first girl in my family to move away to college and even though that is considered independent, I wasn't truly convinced I was. So, I knew I had to work hard and I knew that the key factor in order for me to become completely independent was to finish school and obtain a decent paying job. Well, it's been five years since I moved from Brawley and even though I probably could have gotten my own place sooner than three months ago, I got used to the idea and comfort of roommates.

In the midst of having roommates coming in and out of my life, I sort of lost the idea of wanting to live on my own. For one, roommates are fun. Two, they become your best friends. And three, rent is cheaper! But as I was getting closer to finishing school, and less privacy to a point where there were six people living in a three bedroom apartment, the feeling to get my own place was coming back to me and it was coming back hard. So, I had decided that when school ended I would move out and not roommate with anyone. Not even a relative! Sorry Jo and Shisha! So today I celebrate the three month anniversary to placing my deposit for my first own apartment. Yay me!

I remember the first few nights I spent alone at my place. I had the majority of furnishings but was still missing a lot. My sweet sister Vanessa (Shisha) stayed with me the first two nights and helped me unpack. On the third night, I was alone. I remember getting that "Oh my God, what do I do now" feeling as I locked the door behind her. I remember looking around wondering and thinking "ok, well this is it." As I sat on my red couch to watch America's Funniest Home Videos, I remember laughing and stopping myself realizing "there's no one here to laugh with." That night as I proceeded to go to bed, I left the kitchen light on, the living room tv on, my bedroom tv on, and my closet light on. Please hold your laughter as this is a first I am admitting and quite embarrassing. Yes, it was a bit scary but necessary to waste so much electricity. The following night I did the same, until soon afterwards I slowly got used to the fact this is my life now, and that I should grow the hell up. And I have! I no longer need lights or tv noise to keep me company for I have matured and learned to live by myself. However, living by myself has taught me a few things about myself. For one, when there is no one else to consider, you don't have to be clean. The more I told myself "this is my house, and I do what I want" the messier I got. Of course, I wouldn't be this messy when guests would come over. I made my place presentable and clean. But as soon as they were gone, it started all over again. I'm not normally a messy person. I consider myself pretty organized. I even alphabetize my CD's. However, it just seemed easier and convenient to leave my dishes in the sink, leave my dirty laundry on my bedroom floor, and pretty much just let go of everything. After all, no one was going to see it. It's my own freakin' apartment! But then it started to get old. I wasn't raised like this. When I was living with my mom, I had to do chores every weekend. And it just wasn't mediocre chores; it was sweep, mop, dust, clean kitchen, bathroom, etc. So, I had to change my ways. Besides, I got tired of not finding everything. There was a point when I couldn't find one single clean cup. I had to wash one everytime I used it. But now I've changed my ways. I've managed to stay clean. I think what I went through was probably a rebellious stage of feeling liberated. But it's over now and I'm happy. Satisfied :)

My first blog!!!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

OMG! Could it be?!!! I have fallen into the temptations and urges of expressing my unwinding thoughts and creative thinking (or so I think) into the world of BLOGGING!!! Ok, yes I have. I'm a bit fascinated by this whole blogging thing. Here I sit thinking that I have wonderful thoughts and theories that I would think people would want to read about, therefore, I created this blog. But in actuality that's all in my head. I write poetry, songs, and discuss political and non political issues with friends who are willing to discuss them with me. But unfortunately, most of them find it very boring. I do know, however, that my dear friend Melissa loves to discuss issues like these and I truly appreciate her kind ear and thoughts. Ok so, back to this blog! I decided to make one for those of you who are interested. I find it hard to believe that anyone will want to read it. However, I find myself checking other friends' blogs (i.e. Kristen mostly :) ) just to see what's new and what's up. So I thought "If I'm as interested in her blog, then maybe others can be as interested in mine." Oh well! We shall see!