Time to get personal.......

Don’t worry! Not that personal!

Today marks two very special anniversaries for my family and me. Today is my late father (apa′ to my siblings and I) Rafael Lua’s birthday. He would have been 83 years old. Following the first few years after my father’s death, my mom would always tell me that he no longer had a birthday because he’s in heaven now. But, I always acknowledge it because he is the oldest memory I have as a child. If I look back and think about the fun times between my seven siblings, my father, my mother and I, my father sticks out like a bright candle. As a kid, you don’t pay attention to much except for the people who take care of you. Since I am the seventh child out of eight, I had a lot of people (my parents and brothers and sisters) take care of me. But my dad always had this fun and endearing side to him. He was a nurturer by nature and his memory is so precious to me.

I remember so vividly one of the sweetest things he did. He would kiss my eyes. He would hold my head between his hands, look at me and ask, “aver, cual es mi hojo?” Let’s see, which one’s my eye? And when I’d close them, he’d kiss either my left eye or right eye. It’s strange but it was a comfort to feel his warm lips on my eye lids. It was the same comfort I felt when my mom would hold me whenever I just wanted to hold her. I’d rest the side of my head on her chest while she put her arms around my shoulders and she would talk to me or sing. The vibrations of her voice going through my ear that was resting on her chest and the sound of her heartbeat were such a comfort to my soul that no fear or worries crossed my mind.

Even though my dad has been in heaven for the past fourteen and a half years, his memory still carries on in my spirit and existence every single day of my life. Every now and then I’ll slip back into the moment when we found out he was going to die and I lose emotional control. Sometimes I wonder why after all this time, I can still feel this way. About a year ago, I had a dream of a “could be” life. It was a dream where my brother, my youngest sister, and I were still living at home. I was in my junior year in high school and I was fighting with my brother Edgar (who’s a year older than me) to hurry up with the bathroom because we were going to be late for school. I kept pounding on the door and my mom yells from the kitchen, where she was making breakfast, to use her bathroom. So, I go to her bathroom and guess who was in there? My dad taking his sweet time. I ask him to hurry up but out of the frustration I tell him nevermind and yell through the door that I’ll see him after school. He yells back through the door telling me to not take my car because he has to fix it and then says to take his cacahuate (peanut)! Cacahuate was the name he had for this old brown four door car he had. I don’t even remember what model, year, and make it was. I just knew it was old, brown, rusty, and dusty! The dream pictured what I thought could have been a life with my dad. When I woke up, all I could do is cry. I cried in the shower, cried telling my mom about it, cried on my way to work, cried at work, and cried telling Mari about it. It only reminded me of the person I didn’t have in my life. The heartache in my body hurt so much. But, luckily I have wonderful sisters, brother, nieces, nephews, and mother to get me through it. Now, I could jump in and talk about how my late brother Chava stepped in and took over my father, but that’s a whole ‘nuther blog. You’ll have to read about him later.

For people who know me really well, I often talk a lot about my family. Which is why I’m hoping to write a book one day. Getting over my father’s and brother’s death were two of the biggest obstacles our family has ever been through. I’m so proud of how we handle ourselves and how we still can rely on each other in the utmost difficult times. Even when there’s tension or petty fights, we get over them quickly. So, for today’s topic I just want to wish my father up in heaven a BIG WONDERFUL HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I love you, miss you, and please send a big hello to Chava for us!

Now, for the second anniversary! Today, Savina Rebecca Gallegos is one year old! Happy Birthday Savina! In a wonderful coincidence, my sister Lupe and her husband Tony had their third wonderful child Savina on her grandpa’s birthday! Exactly one year ago, as Lupe held Savina in her arms (after being born for like 8 minutes!) the room got quiet with sniffles and tears. Everyone was just staring at this brand new baby girl. And I do mean everyone! Sisters, sister’s husbands, nieces, nephews, boyfriends, etc. were all there to witness the birth of Savina. We literally filled the hospital room to its capacity. Crowded or not, it was such a sincere moment where innocence is all that we knew and this little girl was the center of our world. It had been a while since there had been a baby in the family and from Tony’s own words “your mom just woke up in life.” I agreed with what he said. Watching my mom go through my brother’s passing was extremely hard on her. When Savina was born, a light in my mom just shined all over her spirit. She is truly a blessing as well as my family is. I am humbled by the sweet blessings God has given me and live each day with the thought of all of you in mind. Thank you!

P.S. I will post some other pictures tomorrow. Sorry, I didn't bring them with me today when I posted this blog! Stay tune....

P.S.S. If you're wondering why the address to my blog is "chenas blog," well, that's because my dad gave nicknames to all his kids and mine just happen to stick. I rarely hear my family members or close friends call me by my real name :)