UPDATE!!!

It’s hard to not start this update on my money problems and not think about how blessed I am to have my family and my job. First off, I knew that when I wrote that last blog about my money problems, that I would get criticism from my family and friends. Well, mostly from my family. I was expecting the “You need to be more responsible…” speeches and I understand the need for that to be said to me. If it were my younger sister going through the same thing, I would probably be giving her that same speech. However, I didn’t write it so that I can have people feel sorry for me or have them offer me financial help. If you look at the record of my past blogs, you’ll notice that a lot of them include stories about my family, but mostly they include my late dad and brother. I tend to write about what’s on my mind. And during the time I wrote that last blog, my money problem was consuming my brain. It was overwhelming me so much that I couldn’t even concentrate on my school work. I had already accepted the help of my mom when she offered it and I shamefully took it. It’s not easy asking for help, but being as close to my mom as I am, I took her help even though I didn’t want to. And I know that my mom is so deeply connected to all her kids, that when one of us stresses, she stresses. I know I stressed her a lot on that phone call, but to be honest, I don’t feel I could talk to anyone else like I do with her. Maybe this is one part of my life that I truly need to change. But asking me to not talk to my mom in the moments I feel that I need to, is like asking her to disappear. And I could not handle that. I just got a little teary-eyed thinking about it. But I do know this…….I don’t ever want to be in this situation again and am learning how to fix it myself. So hopefully this will never happen again and I will never have to call my mom with a similar phone call. I learn a lot from my mom, even in my desperate times, and I think she learns from me. I trust her enough to tell her my secrets (even though I may not have many) and I trust her to always love her kids. I was certain that she was going to tell all my sisters that I had a boyfriend this summer, but to my surprise, she kept it a secret because I had asked her to. It’s like every year she becomes more of this angelic figure in my life that I wish I could be. One day I will write a book about her. A woman like her needs to leave a legacy. And I hope to capture it in my words and in the words of everyone she whole-heartedly touched.

Now, with mom’s help I was able to get over a little speed bump before I had to climb a huge mountain that was followed by the speed bump. Enter: walmart! I obtained a second job working nights and weekends at walmart to help me pay off the check advances I got myself into. Yes it totally sucks working there but I need the job! A typical weekly schedule would be wake up at 7:30am, be at my full time job by 9am, leave my full time job by 5:30pm, change and get to walmart by 6pm, cashier for 4 ½ hours to rude people who constantly complain about the long lines, get hit on by old greasy short men (yes, this is actually true), leave walmart by 10:30pm, pass out when I get home (not even thinking about homework), and wake up to repeat it all over again (except on Tuesdays and Thursdays when I had night class). And of course let’s not forget the weekend shift, which included 8-hour shifts where my feet begin to hurt so badly from standing on them all day.

I don’t know how much longer I’ll last. With the check advances I got myself into, I thought I was going to have to do this until Christmas came. However, my boss at my full time job (where I’ve been at for more than four years) was able to help me out in this situation. I sat across her desk and explained to her what I was going through. With tuition, the check advances, and the late school loan that I was supposed to recieve, I had fallen way behind. She asked me “Ok, how much do you need to cover all of it?” I was embarrassed to say, but I told her. And within a matter of minutes, the check was written and I was off to the bank. At that moment, I felt so incredibly blessed. Yes, I do have to pay that money back, but with no interests and it will slowly be deducted out of my future paychecks at the amount I am able to pay.

At the suggestion of my sister Lupe, I started a balance sheet. I started it so that I can closely watch my finances and never have to borrow from check advances again or from anyone. I’ll slowly but surely be able to pay back my mom, sister Mary, and my job. But for now…..I’ll just count my blessings. Thank You.

Jessenia Lua