A Conversation

Growing up Catholic and always attending church every Sunday made me appreciate the faith in God I have today. I have stated before that in my adult life I consider myself a Catholic, but not a practicing Catholic. I’ll go to church for major holidays and maybe go during a random weekend with my family when I’m visiting Brawley (my hometown). But it’s very rare I attend while living in North County San Diego. But just because I don’t go to church every Sunday and call myself a non-practicing Catholic, doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in God or respect the Catholic church’s traditions. I understand that each religion has its own traditions, morals, and values. I respect that. However, a bit of a controversial subject has come up on more than one occasion. I remember the first time I ever spoke about this was with my college dorm roommate Kasey (pseudonym).

One night my two college dorm roommates and I were talking about sex and religion. Kasey had stated she was a born-again virgin and was going to stay celibate until marriage. I respected her for saying that, but I was caught off guard with what she said next. Kasey stated that with her new found faith in Christianity she was planning on staying celibate until marriage, but allows other acts of sexual pleasure with her partner such as oral sex. I really didn’t understand her statement for being celibate is the act of completely withholding from any kind of sex. She explained to me that (according to her) oral sex is ok as long as it's not intercourse. I still didn’t completely understand why oral sex was allowed and not intercourse, but I left it alone because it's her life and only she decides to live however she chooses. However, living here in North County and getting to know new friends in school or at other social gatherings, I’ve come to learn that many people who say they are Christians live by Kasey’s statement.

A few months ago I had this very same conversation with a friend of mine. Wanting to get a better understanding as to why oral sex is allowed but not intercourse in the faith of Christianity, the following text conversation took place between my friend David (pseudonym and an active Christian) and me.

Note: Text conversation is verbatim. Only changes made were grammar mistakes. Please hold your judgment on the conversation and just find the sense of humor behind it because I thought it was really funny!!

(David talking about a girl he was dating at the time)
David: She is waiting until marriage too. Has only gone as far as oral on a guy. Never had oral done on her. Only oral on two boyfriends.
Me: Why is it ok to do oral for you and not go all the way? You’re committing the same act just in a different hole!!
David: It is different. Intercourse is more intimate. Also, to avoid pregnancy. I think you shouldn’t do oral at all until marriage but it is hard to wait.
Me: It’s not different. In the sense of pregnancy - yes, but in the sense of intimacy and “not the same as sex” bull shit! It’s not! Your bodies are responding the same way whether orally or through intercourse. It is not a loop hole into saving yourself for marriage. You want to save yourself for marriage then don’t do anything at all. Saying that you’re saving yourself for marriage but doing oral is a big time contradiction. And the person is being a hypocrite. I think I might blog about this.
David: You do have valid points, but having someone inside you is more intimate. One has more of a broken heart if it doesn’t work out if they go all the way.
Me: You can do whatever you want. People don’t have to follow sex with their religion and are not obligated to. They could if they want. But it still doesn’t make sense because either way you’re “inside” someone (literally speaking).
David: You are right. I will just wait so I’m not a hypocrite.
Me: Too late. You can no longer say you’re saving yourself because you have said you’ve done oral. Now, instead, you should say you’ll stay celibate until marriage. And that’s the TRUTH!!! Muahhahahaha!!!
Me: Mr. Truth man!!
Me: What’s the matter? Did the truth scare ya? (at this point he hadn’t responded back and I was teasing him by calling him Mr. Truth man because he claims to only speak the truth out of whatever controversial arguments we have)
David: I’m still a virgin.
Me: That’s true. But sexually, you’re celibate.
David: I guess
Me: No you don’t guess. It’s the TRUTH HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!
David: What is the truth?
Me: That you’re no longer waiting to get married to be with a woman. You already acted in a sexual manner with one even though it wasn’t intercourse. You, my friend, are a virgin who is sexually celibate. But you’re only celibate if u decide to not engage in anymore sexual oral acts with women before your marriage.
David: Well I’m not going to do anything sexual until marriage.
Me: Good for you! But if you somehow give in and do some oral or even have sex, it’s ok. God isn’t going to be mad at you. Sex is as natural as the rain that falls!! Embrace it. You can keep your religion and have sex too ya know!
David: Ok, I agree with you.

So as you can tell from our conversation above, do what you want and believe what you want. I don’t really care if you’re a Christian who only allows sexual oral pleasure with your partner as long as it’s not intercourse because you think only oral sex before marriage is “ok.” I was only trying to prove a point to David because we often get into controversial arguments where he “thinks” I’m wrong. So be a Christian, be a Catholic, be a Baptist, be a virgin, or not. Just live your life however you want. I’m no one to judge. Oh but please be safe. Because if you catch something, you spread something!! Thanks for reading!!